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1. She's actually not very good at social planning. She can defuse a tense situation well and keep the peace, but would be terrible at matchmaking. Look at how she handles her engagement with Zixuan: does this look like someone who is good at romance to you? Her main seductive move is to make soup with love. Her contribution to a matchmaking scheme would be to optimistically assume that everything will turn out well.

2. Half the reason she falls in love with Zixuan is that it's a societally approved way to escape her family. Like, yeah, she sees the inkling of the Good Person underneath the Jin face, but it starts because of the dream of having a happy family life.

3. Even though Zixuan is her True Love, she's willing to forgive WWX killing him, because her little brother matters more. Also, they did have a very romantic reconciliation etc etc, but at the end of the day, she wants to protect all the members of her family as well as she can, and that means defending WWX.

4. Honestly, WWX and Yanli are very similar: Big Fans of expressing their love through self-sacrificial gestures, dreamed of having a happy simple domestic life, but when the chips are down, will do anything to protect their family. Including going up against the world.
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