Me-and-media update
Apr. 9th, 2026 12:55In The whooshing sound as they go past poll, 25.6% of respondents said they generally find deadlines motivating, 28.2% want to hide from them, and 64.1% find them manageable in moderation or under specific circumstances. In ticky-boxes, sunbeams dancing brightly on leaves in the breeze came second to hugs, 66.7% to 87.2%. Thank you for your votes! ♥
Reading
Still listening to The Hymn to Dionysus by Natasha Pulley, read by Sid Sagar. There's an interesting tension between my being 90% sure the POV character is unreliable, and 10% aware that he is familiar with the ancient world and its mores, while I am not, so what if all his wrong interpretations are right?
I'm up to the second-draft section of Refuse to Be Done: How to Write and Rewrite a Novel in Three Drafts by Matt Bell, and I am somewhat despairing. In brief, he recommends: discovery write your first draft for raw material, reverse engineer an outline from it, fix the outline, then write the second draft from the revised outline from scratch. Which makes sense if a) you need to discover your characters and worldbuilding along with your story, and b) you can write from an outline. But when I've tried this in the past, I kept editing the outline until it was a completely different story from my first draft. Also, I don't want to rewrite my fics from scratch, and even if I managed to, I'd end up with a differently not-working draft and have to do it all over again. Tl;dr, there is a lot of good stuff in Refuse to Be Done, but it's not the magic bullet for my writing woes that I'd hoped. Oh well.
Maybe I should give the method a try for something shorter.
Kdramas
I'm currently watching four Kdramas, woohoo!
Andrew and I are watching Phantom Lawyer, which is goofy and kind. I would probably enjoy it even more if I hadn't recently listened to a bunch of episodes of Movie Briefs podcast; now I'm very conscious of the rampant unethical lawyering (your client being guilty does not mean you get to turn evidence over to the police, omg; you can't lie to a client about their case to spare their feelings; etc). Anyway, I'm kind of hoping it doesn't develop a romance; I like the leads as a platonic odd couple.
Pru and I are still watching Love Scout. More this evening. (And I showed my brother episode 1 on Friday, though he chatted through it; is that how normal people watch TV?)
I slipped and fell into a rewatch of You're Beautiful, the 2009 "nun undercover as her twin brother in a boyband" drama that was my gateway drug. It is still ridiculous and adorable. Neither of the leads has two braincells to rub together, and I love them. The second lead is still annoying.
spoilers
The lead is arrogant, impatient, and rude, but when he accidentally overhears his new bandmate talking about keeping the fact she's a woman a secret, he immediately confronts her, demands that she go to the manager and confess, and generally engages with her as an (annoying, accident-prone) person. Eventually he ends up helping her and conspiring to keep her secret. Meanwhile, the second lead guesses from Mi-nam's physical attributes that she's female (which reads very differently to me in 2026 than it did to my clueless younger self!). He doesn't tell her he's guessed, just goes out of his way to befriend her and invite her confidence, and he gradually gets jealous of the first lead. He's "nice", but I do not like him.I also started Lovely Runner, starring Kim Hye-yoon (Extraordinary You) as a Kpop megafan whose idol dies by suicide. She time-travels back 15 years to when they were both in school and proceeds to be extremely in-his-face, leveraging her encyclopaedic fan knowledge of him to try and change the course of history. Kim Hye-yoon is always delightful, so I'm enjoying it so far, but it's early days.
Other TV
The Pitt. Ahhhh!!
Rooster (why do writers on TV never actually sit down and write? or read, for that matter?), Scrubs, Cheers, and about ten minutes of DTF [location] which was enough to know it's not for me.
Fringe and Bluey with my sister.
spoilers for Fringe
We've reached the terrible part of Fringe. Wow, I'd forgotten how bad it gets. I mean, why wouldn't you have one of your lead characters choose to give up her entire personality, life history, and all of her friendships and social and family connections for romantic love? I mean, none of that meant anything much, right? Wow. /o\)Paper Girls and Connections with Andrew and Ed.
Audio entertainment
Bill and Frank's Guilt-Free Pleasures' episode "Crowded House: 'Don't Dream It's Over'". A bunch of relistening to RNZ podcast Conversations with my Immigrant Parents as research for a fic I'm not writing.
Online life
520 Day assignments are out, woohoo! The Slo-Mo Guardian rewatch is kicking back into gear this weekend. I've started a new browser window (window #4) where I'm camping out; it currently only has thirteen tabs. I'm failing at keeping up with Dreamwidth, but hopeful that will change now Writers' Hour is at 8am instead of 10am.
Writing/making things
The last week has mostly been modding, squaring away my Yuletide fic for when I get back to it, making notes for a thing that I'm not going to write after all, and alibi sentences. But sometime in the next couple of days, I'm going to start my 520 Day assignment. This is my resolve face.
Life/health/mental state things
( Cut for length. )
House
I am optimistic that my kitchen windows will be re-puttied next week sometime, weather permitting.
Link dump
Why Greenland is an Island and Australia is a Continent (via
Good things
Hair! My 520 Day assignment! Kdramas! Social occasions (I guess). My sister mended my favourite slouching-around-at-home trousers and made me Brazilian cheese bread. Halle and Andrew and the fact it's not raining or cold.
When dealing with stoic characters, how do you prefer your hurt/comfort?
stoic character stoically/reluctantly/awkwardly receiving comfort
18 (41.9%)
stoic character stoically/reluctantly/awkwardly providing comfort
19 (44.2%)
anyone and everyone hurt!
16 (37.2%)
anyone and everyone comforting!
15 (34.9%)
it depends
12 (27.9%)
none of my characters are stoic/reserved/clams
0 (0.0%)
all of my characters are stoic/reserved/clams
1 (2.3%)
I'm not into hurt/comfort
3 (7.0%)
other / it's more complicated than that
5 (11.6%)
ticky-box of having multiple browser windows open right now
24 (55.8%)
ticky-box full of story structure is my nemesis
11 (25.6%)
ticky-box full of a red panda circus troupe performing for grapes
15 (34.9%)
ticky-box of appreciating being able to breathe through your nose
27 (62.8%)
ticky-box full of hugs
34 (79.1%)
Wednesday Reading Meme
Apr. 8th, 2026 13:35Carol Ryrie Brink’s Mademoiselle Misfortune, a charming book from the 1930s. Young Alice is the oldest of six look-alike sisters in Paris, and one day overhears the landlady sighing that the girls are six misfortunes for their family: imagine having to pay six dowries! But soon after, a crotchety American lady (the sister of a friend of the family’s) asks Alice to accompany her on a trip through France as her interpreter, in which position Alice comes into her own as a person. Delightful illustrations by Kate Seredy.
I realize there’s no guarantee that an author will ever meet her illustrator, but I hope Brink and Seredy did come to know each other, as based purely on their books I think they could have been besties.
What I’m Reading Now
Frolicking through E. M. Delafield’s The Provincial Lady in America. No deep thoughts, just enjoying this whirlwind tour of the American literary world in the 1930s. Apparently everyone who was anyone was reading Anthony Adverse, except for our narrator who keeps having to duck conversations about the book.
What I Plan to Read Next
Thoughts on Rosmei's releases so far?
Apr. 8th, 2026 09:55(the ETA for ones ordered via Yiggybean is sometime in May, so it will be a while until I get mine)
what i'm reading wednesday 8/4/2026
Apr. 8th, 2026 09:05What I finished:
+ Disciples of White Jesus: The Radicalization of American Boyhood by Angela Denker. This was not exactly what I expected, which was a more sociological exploration of the way that white Christian boys are being taught white supremacist/Christian nationalist beliefs. Instead, it was a very personal journalistic exploration that drew on sociological data. Denker did things like travel to Columbia, SC to meet the pastor of the young man who murdered worshipers at Mother Emanuel church in Charleston, talked to pastor teaching confirmation classes in rural Midwestern communities, and drew on her own work as a pastor to get an angle on what white Christian boys are being taught about masculinity.
This is very much a book for Christians; it is written from a progressive Christian perspective and as such would probably be annoying to people who are progressive but not Christian. Still, I don't regret listening to it and I am glad this resource is out there for Christians who are trying to combat extremism within the church.
What I'm reading:
+ Orlando by Virginia Woolf for book club. I'm about 1/3 of the way through, and I am glad this wasn't my first Woolf. The language and the flashing insights are gorgeous, of course, and I actually love how deeply weird it is with things like time--it's absolutely written on a mythic scale which I think is very cool--but I think if this was my first Woolf I would be more wtf??? about it. The casual racism is a lot!
I don't know that I will ever love this like I do Mrs. Dalloway, but it's certainly an interesting reading experience and I am enjoying myself! We'll see how I feel when I'm done.
+ The Magician's Daughter by H.G. Parry. Despite my intense annoyance at books about female protagonists whose titles frame them in relationship to a man, I checked this one out on a whim. It has the energy of an old-school YA fantasy novel (complimentary) and I'm enjoying it! It doesn't feel formulaic or as simplistic as most YA does today, even if it doesn't quite have the richness of my old faves.
I was taken from the beginning; the story starts out with a teenage girl who's been raised on a magical island in a crumbling castle, knowing nothing about the rest of the world except what she's read through books. Classic Lauren-bait, 11/10, no notes. Once we leave the island, things don't hit quite as hard for me, though I'm reserving my judgement until I finish it.
It turns out it's one of those "magic is disappearing!" books, which I think is an overdone trope, but this is certainly one of the better versions of that story I've read. The worldbuilding is quite fun, even if it isn't very innovative. There's no romance, the main relationship is between the protagonist and the man who raised her, which is well done. Hopefully we'll get some real emotional oomph in the last third of the book and I will be able to unabashedly recommend this to people who are looking for a light but not insubstantial read.
+ "You Just Need to Lose Weight" and 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey Gordon. I just needed an audiobook to listen to while I was cooking on Sunday, and I was like, "Wait! Aubrey from my beloved Maintenance Phase podcast has books! I can just listen to her read them!"
I knew a lot of this stuff already, but Aubrey is such a great person to hang out with--funny, compassionate, uncompromising when she needs to be. The work of fat advocacy she does must be exhausting considering the everything of our current culture (for a while there in the 2010s I really did think we were making strides on the topic of bodies, and then the one-two punch of Covid and weight loss drugs happened and now we're right back to heroin chic and it's so awful), but I admire her so much for doing it.
The Gay Village is Next to the Chinese Quarter
Apr. 7th, 2026 23:38But there, I'm getting ahead of myself.
So despite all my resolutions about not letting work take over my life, work unhinged its jaws wider than I thought them possible and swallowed me whole, and now I'm only just managing to briefly resurface because things have slowed down for Easter. I'm already dreading the return to work next week. Down with capitalism, etc.
ANYWAY I managed to get down to London last week to see Cynthia Erivo's one-woman performance of Dracula and also to eat things. Dracula was fun mostly as a spectacle. I'm not sure it really holds up without that element, especially given the odd decision to have Cynthia Erivo straight-up narrate the letters/diaries from the novel itself instead of adapting them as dialogue.
Perhaps equally (or more) interesting, food pictures (I was mostly hanging out in Brick Lane/Shoreditch, hence the selection).
( pictures under the cut )
Truthwitch and Windwitch by Susan Dennard
Apr. 7th, 2026 14:593/5. First two books of five in this upper YA epic fantasy about two chosen sisters separated by circumstance trying to find their way back to each other as war brews and there’s an underlying magical plot happening, and obviously there’s a prophecy.
These are definitely a cut above the norm. They have that frenetic YA pacing and some POV bloat even by book two, neither of which are my favorite. But they also have a density to the worldbuilding and a thoughtfulness about character that you don’t usually get. As well as a commitment to super slow burning the romances. Also, there is a sort of chosen one character (though that gets complicated as we go) and she is refreshingly, wonderfully a hot mess. If there’s an arc towards heroism here, it’s a long, slow complicated one full of lots of impulsivity and bad decisions.
So yeah, I get why this one floats to the top of everyone’s lists of YA fantasy. It does really have something. Two books worth, which is saying a lot for me, since I’m lucky to make it a quarter into anything YA these days. So when I say I’m good after two books, that’s actually a compliment. If you want chewy plotty long YA that prioritizes platonic sister relationships and lets all the character arcs breathe, here you go.
I had slightly larger, albeit still small, ambitions for today prior to the bad sleep, but we ventured out briefly on an unsuccessful quest for scones (we verified the shop was open and I even called ahead to try to make sure they had scones, but I got voicemail and no one returned my call, so we gambled and lost). Ah well.
( all the rest is various food talk [with a bit about eating + blood glucose aggravation] )
Easter Books
Apr. 6th, 2026 13:56The first was Tasha Tudor’s A Tale for Easter, which is about a little girl’s Easter. It’s hard to remember when Easter is (so true), but when Mama makes hot cross buns for tea on Good Friday, you know it’s just around the corner… and that’s when you have your Easter dream of riding a fawn to meet baby bunnies and ducklings!
The second was Jan Brett’s The Easter Egg. Every Easter, all the bunnies make beautiful eggs, because the maker of the most gorgeous egg gets to ride with the Easter Bunny as he makes his rounds. There are dyed eggs that have been turned into flower pots, carved wooden eggs, luscious chocolate eggs, classic psyanki eggs, even a mechanical egg… An explosion of delicious detail that really plays to Brett’s strengths as an illustrator.
I was also completely charmed by the borders on this one. Each page is bordered with branches of pussy willow, which over the course of the book swell from tiny buds to full pussy willows - and then on the last page, each pussy willow bud is a tiny bunny! It’s subtle enough that most people won’t notice, but it’s just delightful when you see it.
A golden thread between hearts
Apr. 6th, 2026 16:29This time around, Matthias and I went out on the train to Bury St Edmund's on Friday. We pottered around in town for a bit, had lunch at this place (excellent), then wandered across the road to a pub that was having a mini beer festival, and sat around outside for a bit, although it was windy and cold and I had to ask them to turn on their outdoor gas heaters to keep me warm! Bury is fairly close, but I feel as if I've rarely gone there, in spite of living in this part of the world for many, many years now.
On Saturday, we had a day out in Ely — cheese platter for lunch this place, sushi for dinner at the fancy sushi restaurant, and more wandering around in between. It was again a bit too cold to be outdoors much, but the river was as pretty as ever, and dotted with various groups of people having cups of tea or rounds of drinks in the houseboats.
Yesterday we didn't leave the house at all. I did a bit of gardening, read, did yoga, and spent most of the day slow-cooking an Indonesian curry for dinner. The garden is slowly springing back to life. I have to spend much of my time chasing the wood pigeons away from the cherry trees, as if they're left to their own devices, they'll eat all the flowers and shoots and we won't have any fruit. The seedlings in the growhouse are coming along nicely, and I'm particularly pleased at the prospect of being able to make my own pickles from cucumbers I've grown myself this year.
Today began with a fairly slow start: the last of the hot cross buns, laundry, cleaning, more communing with the garden, and then a little walk through the park that rings our part of the town. After lunch, we went and sat out in the courtyard garden of our favourite cafe/bar for a bit, then picked up the first gelato of the year from the place that is only seasonally open (I think the owners go back somewhere warmer and more Mediterranean over the winter) on the way home. Once I've finished off this post, I'll gather in the laundry, do a last sweep of the garden, and start winding down.
You can see from this weekend photoset that I started out with some extremely ambitious reading plans, and I'm pretty pleased that I made it through five of these books. Five out of seven isn't too shabby! Those books were a wonderful mix of new-to-me and annual reread favourites, fiction and nonfiction, short stories and novels.
I started off with Is A River Alive?, Robert Macfarlane's latest. This is nature writing about rivers (including some of the world's last remaining chalk streams around the corner from my workplace in Cambridge), but also a look at the global movement to grant legal personhood to the natural world — in particular rivers — and the people and organisations fighting to make that happen. As with any nonfiction writing about the state of the environment, it's pretty bleak in places, although the relentless energy (and enthusiasm they have for frogs, fungi, beetles, snakes, bodies of water, etc) of the various people Macfarlane encounters is infectious.
Next up was Death and the Penguin, Ukrainian author Andrey Kurkov's most famous work. Having familiarised myself with Kurkov through both his historical mysteries and his war memoirs, it seemed only fair to pick this one up when I could, and I'm glad I did. It's a blackly comic, surreal look at the chaos and disorientation of Ukraine in the early years of independence from the Soviet Union, with a hapless struggling author protagonist who winds up working for a newspaper as an obituary writer, only to realise that his obituaries (which, as is the case for all newspapers, are written in advance of their subjects' deaths) are serving as a hit list for organised crime. One of Kurkov's strengths as a writer is his talent for observing and cataloguing the minutiae of everyday life in very specific times and places, and this is on full display here in his evocation of 1990s Kyiv and the people who inhabit it.
Another author who excels at observing the specific is Elena Ferrante, whose third book in the series of novels about two girls growing up in inpoverished circumstances in post-WWII Naples, and their subsequent adult lives was next on my reading list for the long weekend. Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay picks up the story in the early adult years: Lenu, the narrator, has graduated university, published her first novel, and is about to marry her university boyfriend, who comes from an educated upper middle class background, and much of the novel deals with the sense of anxiety and imposter syndrome she feels having achieved social mobility — out of place among the educated elite, but ill at ease whenever she returns to her childhood home. Meanwhile, her childhood friend Lina is dealing with the consequences of a series of spectacularly bad decisions made in the previous book. Marriage and motherhood is difficult for both women in different ways, and the book is particularly good at conveying the pain of being sort of disappeared into those roles, with no outlets for their restless, hungry, wide-ranging intelligence. As with previous books in the series, this third outing is also a vivid snapshot of a very specific time and place, although it moves beyond one single neighbourhood in Naples to take in the sweep of political and cultural change in late 1960s Italy as a whole — as the characters' worlds open up, so their view (and that of the reader) becomes wider. There's just one book left in the series, which (so far) really does live up to the extremely well deserved hype.
Easter is always the time for my annual reread of Susan Cooper's Greenwitch, my very favourite of her Dark Is Rising series. Seaside holidays, 200-year-old Cornish smuggling history bubbling up to haunt an entire village of the smugglers' descendants, weird children's folk horror, women having emotions near the sea, and the sea having emotions right back at women: what's not to love?
Finally, I've been reading my way through Seasons of Glass and Iron, Amal El-Mohtar's short story (and poetry) collection. I think I've read pretty much every item previously, as there is no new work, and most of it was published in online SFF magazines, or on El-Mohtar's own website, but it's lovely to see it all brought together in one place. As with all short fiction collections, I enjoy some stories more than others, but in this case everything works as a coherent whole. You can see her coming back time and time again to the same ground: language and multilingualism, the natural world (especially birds and bodies of water), books and writing and folk tales, cities and cafes and migration, and relationships between women in all their myriad forms. It's as if she picks up an idea, polishes it into an exquisite, self-contained gem, and then returns to pick it up some years later to polish again into a slightly different gem when she realises she has more to say, or a different understanding. There are few authors whose work I feel finds its most perfect expression in shorter form, but Amal El-Mohtar is one of them. This collection represents about twenty years' worth of fiction (it was interesting to see her talk in the afterward about the vanished world of SFF publishing/aspiring author Livejournal, and how this incredible community shaped her as a writer and nurtured so many of these stories into existence; I witnessed this from the periphery and it feels that this particular alchemy is an impossibility in a much louder, more crowded and fast-moving internet), and it's my fervent hope that we can look forward to a similar collection in twenty years' time — with the same favourite themes and imagery explored with even greater richness.
Recent media
Apr. 6th, 2026 23:20Sally Rooney, "Normal People"
Coming-of-age + romance litfic between two flavors of insufferable young adults. It was fine. Plus points for being very readable and getting me out of a slump. Minus points for Connell's PoV, which I found unconvincing, uncohesive, and undeserved, and brought to mind a movie I disliked for similar reasons, the animated Filipino movie Saving Sally, though this one wasn't as egregious.
Project Hail Mary (2026)
Very well-produced, though bleak. It's a really good movie for the green screen-fatigued—Rocky the alien is a physical puppet, and so lifelike it effectively distracts you from the quality of the writing. The movie itself is, at the end of the day, a male power fantasy, which would not have bothered me if it weren't so LONG; the last twenty to thirty minutes were altogether extraneous, repetitive, and un-suspended any disbelief I had in the power of friendship. It really suffers so much from having Rocky be sidekick-type character. (But to the credit of this movie, I did cry once lol)
Manhwa + manga
How to Ride the Hero's Coattails (manhwa)
A VERY promising transmigration + academy + tower/dungeon story with a FMC. It actually reminds me of the cnovel/cdrama/donghua How Dare You!? but so far it's very gen. The FL transmigrates as a a random no-name character in a tower novel. She decides that the path to survival is to put on a heroine-like personality (bubbly, naive, forgiving) and stick to the novel MC, an in-universe transmigrator (kind of like the 2FL in How Dare You) who happens to be her classmate. In his PoV, he's the only one with novel knowledge and so he assumes, with full confidence, that he's the one using her for his own gain and "developing" her as a hidden-gem character. He also assumes from her behavior that she's a new romanceable character, but in reality she's the one calling the shots and stealing all the romanceable girls from him. XD
Re-living My Life With a Boyfriend Who Doesn't Remember Me (manga)
Tropey sunshine girl x tsundere boy she-fell-first-he-fell-harder romcom, with fair amounts of angst and obvious HP influences: After tragically discovering her boyfriend's dead body, the FL finds herself transported back in time to < 2 years before his death. When she approaches him, it becomes apparent that he doesn't remember her at all or have an interest in befriending her. But of course, that won't stop her! She's determined to stop his death at all costs and content to stay by his side in any way possible.
The first chapters are mostly of her pursuing him and being continuously rebuffed, which isn't the most fun dynamic, but eventually the ML goes through a journey of discovery: that he has feelings for her, that his coldness has made her perceive him as someone she can't ask for help from, and that his competition is his own future / alternate-timeline self whom he develops an inferiority complex to. He decides to step up his game and set aside his pride, trying to get her to see him and love him as he is. On her part she falls in love with him twice but is still powered by too much trauma to rely on people.
There's also a neat little twist that
spoilers
this is actually their third timeline. In the first timeline, the FL dies. In the second timeline (the one that the FL remembers), the ML remembers and dies to prevent the FL's death. The present timeline is the third, the FL remembering and trying to prevent the ML's death.The Person I Loved Asked Me to Die in My Sister's Stead (manga)
I'm only 3 volumes in but the angst, it's beautiful. The setup is pretty banal: the kingdom needs a sacrifice to appease the mana tree from the otherworld. The FL's younger sister is chosen. The FL's crush begs the FL to go in her sister's place. Being a lovesick pushover, the FL agrees. When she is being sent to the otherworld, the sacred sword Sartis suddenly appears, declares she is his master, and follows her to the otherworld. Sacrifices are typically meant to be devoured by the tree, but the FL having a sacred sword and an aptitude for magic by her side, finds away to put it to sleep instead. She survives... for twenty more years. All alone, in a land full of monsters, not aging because of the concentration of magic. One day a portal opens and from the portal comes a man who is the spitting image of her first love. The young man turns out to be the son of her first love and her sister. He challenges her for the sword, and loses; he decides to become her apprentice instead, aiming to be good enough to win the sword by the time he has to return to the human world.
Through Lloyd (ML), Irene (FL) finds out that she's been framed as an evil witch who was exiled for stealing the sacred sword. There's a lot of emotional tension around Lloyd's presence in the otherworld—with him, Irene learns what it's like to be around people again. But the longer he stays the less likely she'll be hold on to her sanity when he leaves, having tasted human companionship again. Lloyd, on his part, is learning that while he thinks of himself as a monster he can't stand the idea of the FL thinking she's a monster. He's a walking existential crisis with a pair of avoidant parents hahaha.
books read: 2026 march
Apr. 5th, 2026 20:44Well, this month will be busy with work events, so trying to find the balance in everything else. Eating, sleeping, working out, making time for rest and relaxation, reading, connecting with myself -- as so much of this month will be connecting externally. Can't wait for the slowdown in May so I can plan to watch things! F1 also on a break this month (...thanks, war we started with Iran) so at least one fewer thing to juggle.
( Books, March 2026 )
Waiting to see if Ten will renew his SM contract or if things will change. Listening to TOP's new album and in my 2nd gen kpop feels. What a privilege it is to have lived and to still be here.
Weekly proof of life, Easter-in-name-only edition
Apr. 5th, 2026 14:39Reading: Very, very little, although I've been picking away some more at Praisesong for the Kitchen Ghosts: Stories and Recipes from Five Generations of Black Country Cooks.
Watching: The main thing is that, since the crunch has not kindly wrapped up, I've given up on my initial notion of holding off until it's over to start season 2 of the live-action One Piece.
Weathering: Yay for spring and all that, but so far it's a very Nova Scotian spring--a lot of the province had a bunch of snow and ice on Friday, with more of the same today. We're mostly getting very chilly rain here, which is bad enough.
Meat-puppetry (kinda): Within the last week or two, the length of my hair went from "this is more effort than I like to keep it off my face, but hey, having a ponytail is still novel" to "IT'S TOUCHING ME MAKE IT STOP", and thankfully Ginny was up for chopping it (mostly) all off last night when she and Kas were over. It's now back to being VERY short without the drastic step of simply buzz cutting it; there's even enough length at the front that some of it's still dyed from (I think it was?) December. Such a relief.
(Ginny cuts her own hair, Kas' hair, and my hair, and mine is veryvery different from either of theirs--dead straight and slippery and, although I didn't know this until I was at least in my thirties, very thick despite being very fine. So when she does my hair, there just keeps being more of it, even with a quarter or a third of it buzzed right down in an undercut, and it slides away from whatever she's trying to do with it. On top of that, I only actually get her to do it maybe twice a year, so she doesn't really have a chance to get used to my hair, but she gamely makes it work anyway and I appreciate it. ^_^)
This or that meme
Apr. 5th, 2026 16:57( Behind the cut )
If you want a clean version of the questions without any answers, you can copy the code here:
March books
Apr. 5th, 2026 15:17Hornblower and the Hotspur - C. S. Forester
How I Killed Pluto and Why It Had It Coming - Mike Brown
Midnight Timetable - Bora Chung, transl. Anton Hur
Diary of a Cranky Bookworm - Aster Glenn Gray
Ghost Cities - Siang Liu
Land of Milk and Honey - C Pam Zhang
HMS Surprise - Patrick O'Brian
Nightwing Vol 1: On with the Show - Dan Watters, Dexter Soy, Veronica Gandini
Absolute Batman Vol 1 : The Zoo - Scott Snyder, Nick Dragotta, Frank Martin
( march reading )
Testimony of Mute Things by Lois McMaster Bujold
Apr. 4th, 2026 12:303/5. I picked this up because A meal of Thorns had a great episode on Paladin of Souls, and I was like ‘oh yeah, damn, that book did slap.’ And then like a fool I picked up this recent novella instead of rereading PoS.
This is fine. It’s a capsule story set much earlier in the timeline, which means a much younger and less seasoned Pen is solving a murder. A perfectly serviceable hour of entertainment, well-observed and characterized, but not much more than that. Kind of made me sad, actually. You could get an interesting podcast episode out of the Penric stories as a whole. There is some theology stuff to chew on there, and some gender stuff and some parenting stuff. But most of the entries on their own? No.
Robber Cats
Apr. 3rd, 2026 08:12Alas, the story is a morality tale, in which a kitten Goes to the Bad (led astray by bad company, we are told, although we never meet a single companion, evil or otherwise), realizes that wickedness has made it wretched, and returns to its grieving mother, who has been crying her heart out over her robber son. Now do any of us really believe that a mother cat would be sorry one of her kittens took to a life a crime?
However, Ballantyne frequently seems to forget that his characters are cats. Item: the robber kitten has to remind himself not to feel afraid as the sun sinks low. SIR you are a CAT you can SEE IN THE DARK. Item: the robber kitten falls out of a try onto his head. SIR you are a CAT you famously LAND ON YOUR FEET. Such a disappointment.
However, by fortunate coincidence I’m reading another book about a larcenous cat, Katherine Applegate’s Pocket Bear, which is narrated by the cat Zephyrina. Until recently a stray, Zephyrina has graciously consented to accept a home with Dasha and her mother Elizaveta, recent refugees from the war in Ukraine. To show her appreciation, she likes to bring back interesting finds that she has scavenged, especially toys for Dasha’s Second Chances Home for the Tossed and Treasured.
This has resulted in a wagon in front of the Second Chances Home for the Tossed and Treasures, full of Zephyrina’s recent finds, with an apologetic sign saying “Our Cat Is a Burglar,” to which Zephyrina objects. One: our cat? She is her own cat, thank you very much. Two: a burglar? What a way to refer to the Robin Hood of felines.
Zephyina is a deliciously recognizable type of cat, the previous stray who proudly believes that she is BAD! BAD TO THE BONE! but actually is a not-so-secret softie. In Zephyrina’s case, that softness manifests first with her friendship with Pocket Bear, a tiny teddy first sewn during World War I to accompany a soldier to war in his pocket.
Now over a hundred years old, Pocket Bear still remembers that formative military service. He calls the other toys in the Second Chance Home his troops, and worries over them like a kindly general. He calls Zephyrina “Corporal Z.” She cheekily sketches a salute and brings home more liberated-not-stolen toys.
The story kicks off when she brings home an old bear from a trash can. A very old bear; a possible antique, which might bring in a lot of money, which Dasha and Elizaveta desperately need to establish a new life in the United States. But can they get Dasha and Elizaveta the money they need and also find the old bear a loving home…?
Eguchi Ayako (1888-1946)
Apr. 3rd, 2026 19:02Through Ikuta Hanayo, another Bluestocking, Ayako met the poet Kitahara Hakushu, who had just divorced his first wife Toshiko. Three years older than she, Hakushu was also a brewer’s child from the south whose family had lost their standing; he and Ayako also shared interests in poetry and in Buddhist practice. He was already a very successful poet who had spent time in prison for adultery with his first wife, although when free to marry their marriage only lasted a year. Ayako moved in with him at a temple outside Tokyo; not surprisingly, they had very little to live on. We scrape together a little money, and yet, she wrote in a poem, your umbrella pitches against the rain and wind. Eventually, after their marriage in 1918, Hakushu’s poems began to sell, and he planned a large Western home for them; at the earth-placating ceremony, however, while he was in the middle of a quarrel with his brother and a friend, Ayako is said to have slipped away with his publisher. She and Hakushu were divorced in 1920 (he married his third wife Kikuko within the year).
Ayako returned to Oita, stayed with Yanagiwara Byakuren for a while, and then went on a pilgrimage in Shikoku. In 1921 she moved to a temple in Kyoto to practice Zen and in 1923 married a priest there, but the marriage lasted only two months; she contemplated becoming a geisha, and for the moment returned again to her hometown, where in 1928 she published a collection of prose poems.
In 1930 she married Nakamura Kaisen, another Kyoto priest, who kept the marriage secret because of his ambitions for promotion within the order; Ayako spent several years in and out of psychiatric hospitals. She published a book of poetry in 1934. In 1938 she divorced Kaisen and took the tonsure as a Buddhist nun, living in part on contributions from old friends including Ikuta Hanayo and Hasegawa Shigure.
Ayako died at her childhood home in Oita in 1946, at the age of fifty-eight.
Sources
Mori 2008
March music shows
Apr. 3rd, 2026 14:51
Les Miserables World Tour (Concert)
It was kinda hard to get into this because I woke up that day to news of USrael bombing a school in Iran, which was like... another war, and still, no one's going to stop them?
Notes: Javert (Jeremy Secomb) was phenomenal and was quite—and I mean this as a compliment—unhinged, like he was stoic by default but the wildness would spill over anytime Valjean was involved. At one point he had Thenardier in a chokehold. Gavroche and Grantaire wore matching green outfits, I guess they really are family-coded in the musical canon. Marius (Will Callan) had great himbo energy and huge stage presence (on top of a very powerful voice), which made Enjolras (Harry Chandler) feel significantly less impressive. Mme Thenardier (Lea Salonga), well, did her best (I'm happy she got to do all three roles, but she's just not a comic actress); Thenardier (Red Concepción), however, was fantastic. The child actors were very cute and performed very well.
Throughout the first act, a guy in the row in front of us kept taking photos and videos (with his screen dimmed to the lowest setting) at the beginning of each song, which was distracting. The couple beside me was annoyed and had a few passive-aggressive remarks during the intermission period.

ONE OK ROCK - Detox Tour
Watched this with my cousin, who flew in from our hometown and is a much bigger fan. (Life update: It looks like I can now be trusted to pick people up from the airport—I took a slower route and missed a turn and got super stressed, but my cousin didn't appear to care.) The funny thing is that I almost opted not to buy water from the concession stand because I'd planned to just quietly enjoy the music and sit pretty, but the moment they played the second song (The Beginning, my personal favorite) I kissed my demure image and my voice goodbye. 😂 The sounds, lights, and stage production, were perfect, and the energy from the band and the crowd impossible to resist. Halfway through the concert, Taka, the vocalist, admitted that he had just lost his voice and barely gotten it back and wasn't in the best shape; he was drinking and spraying his throat in between songs, which was kinda stressful??? I found out afterwards that they'd cut two songs from the set, Tiny Pieces and +Matter, both from the new album.
Other "old" songs in the set list: Wherever You Are, a highly intimate experience; crowd pleasers Renegades ("Japanese" version) and Stand Out Fit In; Kimishidai Ressha, a huge surprise; and We Are for encore.

A Chorus Line
The production I watched a mostly local one, with a couple of guest actors and a guest choreographer. It's my first time seeing any version of this musical, and overall I think it's not my type of musical, though it's structurally interesting. I think it's also the type of musical where the cast can make it or break it, requiring the ability to sing, dance, AND deliver monologues. As much as it pains me to say it, I feel like a lot of local actors have yet to figure out how line-read effectively in English. They sounded fine and fluent, but the flow, intonation and inflections were always kind of same-y, less like delivering a natural performance and more like trying to mimic a certain type of speaking. Which is fine in small doses and in most musical productions, but not on this one specifically since it's heavy on spoken parts.
While You Were Sleeping fic, and writing meta
Apr. 3rd, 2026 13:33Article 48 [Restriction on Acceptance of Engagement] (7647 words) by china_shop [Teen and Up]
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 당신이 잠든 사이에 | While You Were Sleeping (TV)
Relationships: Han Woo Tak/Jung Jae Chan/Nam Hong Joo
Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Threesome - F/M/M, Getting Together, Prophetic Dreams, Found Family
Summary:“Woo Tak, you haven’t left home yet, right?” Hong Joo’s voice comes down the line with the familiar confidence of long-standing friendship. “Don’t drive. You’ll get stuck in traffic, and you’ll miss your test.”
Woo Tak momentarily forgets his place in her life. His crush is usually manageable, but this morning, taken off-guard, he can’t suppress a kindling warmth, nor the smile that accompanies it. “Nam Hong Joo, have you been dreaming about me from all the way over in Australia?”
This request came up for pinch hit around the time I defaulted on Yuletide, and I thought, well, if I can't manage my assignment, I'll at least do a treat. Especially since I'd nominated While You Were Sleeping (one of my long-standing tiny Kdrama fandoms). But in the end, this foundered too. Turns out partners having operations is not great for my writing productivity.
So since mid-February (I think?!), I've been finishing the draft, re-writing, and re-re-writing. I came up against successive problems, and I want to document them here, because I know these issues are cropping up in my writing generally, of late.
- Internal/external consistency: one of the big problems with my first few drafts was: Character A decides to do X and continues to believe they're doing X while actually doing Y. In other words, the external dialogue and actions contradict the internal monologue in a way that is not deliberate and just comes across as confusing and nonsensical. ("I've decided not to tell them how I feel... except that I keep hinting without acknowledging that.") I'm sure there are deliberate ways to do this that can be very effective. This was not that.
Solution: step outside the POV and look at what the character is actually doing. Then signpost reversals and the reasons for them. - Cue words/flow: one of Matt Bell's newsletters a while back quoted Robert McKee talking about cue words:
[E]very reaction[...] needs an action to prompt it.
Therefore, ideally, the last word or phrase of each speech is the core word that seals meaning and cues a reaction from the other side of the scene. [...] A miscue happens when a core word is placed too early in Character A’s line and prompts a reaction from Character B, but because Character A has more words to recite, Actor B must swallow her response and wait while Actor A finishes performing his speech.
In prose, this isn't just about external reaction, but internal reaction too. If the POV character's internal monologue isn't reacting to the last thing that happened/was said, then the reader is left scrambling to make connections with something that might have happened lines or paragraphs back, or which might not be there at all. I find I'm particularly prone to this when I have a lot of meta thoughts I'm trying to include in the POV's internal monologue.
Solution: restructure so that the reactions directly follow on from the thing that caused them, and make sure that meta thoughts flow naturally, each one prompted by the last, in a way that fits the overall arc/direction of the scene (keeping in mind that it's perfectly fine to have reversals). - Location of conversation/theory of mind: I've been finding lately that my POV characters often conduct a huge amount of the story just inside their heads, even when there's someone else there. They have all these thoughts and feelings to process! It's a lot! And then occasionally the other person says something, setting off a new cascade of thoughts and feelings. But most people have theories about what the people they're talking with are thinking, how they're feeling, what they're trying to achieve. Conversations, especially romantic ones, usually work better when the focus is shared between the POV character's internal thoughts, and their assessment of what is happening externally.
Solution: make the other party to the conversation more active. And make the POV character react to them, as well as their own internal stuff. - Direction/progress of scenes: I touched on this above, but it deserves its own point. Because I discovery write, I find it easy to take a very meandery path from the start of the scene to where I want to end up. In fanfic, this isn't fatal because we all enjoy spending time with our characters. But it can undercut tension and test readers' comprehension. It's something I want to work on.
Solution: structure scenes so that there's a sense of progress, with only one or two reversals, not flip-flopping every few paragraphs.
Anyway, things to think about. Things to work on. I'm super grateful to


